3 American Intimacies I Don’t Get

Hugs GaloreHugging canada goose uk shop wasn’t a thing in my childhood in Hong Kong. uk canada goose When I saw buy canada goose jacket my grandmother, canada goose black friday sale I just shook her hand. In fact, canada goose store I never hugged anyone until I was 13, when canada goose coats on sale I https://www.topcanadagoose.ca came to America. The concept of hugging was so foreign to me that I had to study how other people hugged buy canada goose jacket cheap to understand the mechanics of wrapping your arms around someone. Was I supposed to put both arms over the shoulder? Both arms around the belt? One up and one Canada Goose Outlet down? It was a confusing time in my life.

When I finally mustered the courage to hug this girl in school, I’m pretty sure I forearmed her in the face. Yet these days, I’m recklessly hugging Canada Goose sale everyone, with complete disregard, and hopefully fewer injuries. I cheap canada goose uk hug my friends, I hug people I’ve just met, I hug my website the UPS man if he delivered canada goose clearance a cool package. (Even if he delivers toilet paper, I still give a quick hug.)

The Rampant Canada Goose Parka Spread of ‘I Love You’In many Asian cultures, people rarely, if ever, utter the words “I love you.” But in America “I love canadian goose jacket you” can be used as an endearing greeting from lovers, as canada goose coats a supportive term from parents to their children and even as a casual goodbye to friends: “That was an amazing brunch, let’s do it again soon. I love Canada Goose Jackets you, bye!”

American culture is just canada goose clearance sale much more intimate than what I was used to growing up. If I said “I love you” to my parents, they would probably canada goose uk outlet think I’m crazy or that I have terminal cancer. I have said it to cheap Canada Goose my friends sometimes, in a drunk guy at the bar way. “Hey, canada goose factory sale I love you, bro, you’re awesome, man.” And I have said it to one girl, Canada Goose Online but to be honest I’m not sure I meant it it Canada Goose Coats On Sale just seemed like the right answer at the moment.

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She was wonderful, and two months into our relationship she told me, “I really like you.” I said, “I really like you too.” Then she said, “I really, really like you,” and looked into my cornea. And I said, “Yes, I really, really like you too!” Frustration came over her and she pushed on: “No! I mean, like, I really, really, canada goose really like you!” Aha I finally realized what she meant, so I gave her Canada Goose online the answer she was looking for: “Oh yeah, I love you.”

That was a regrettable mistake from this nave people pleaser. We eventually broke up because we both realized I didn’t mean that.

So what does it really mean to say “I love you”? Does it mean nothing more than “You’re cool”? Or is it actually a magical phrase?

I asked my 70 year old Chinese father, “Dad, why don’t we ever say ‘I love you’?” And he said, “We don’t have to always uk canada goose outlet say I love you, it’s understood.” Maybe he’s right.